To Walk Through Fire
by Glory1863
Summary: As a child, Shran was badly burned when he fell into a nest of ice borers. That ordeal would have profound effects on his life, some of them surprising.
1. Fire in the Ice

_Star Trek_ in all its incarnations and all its characters belongs to Paramount/Viacom. I just like to borrow them from time to time for personal amusement.

This story is for Night's Darkness, a kind, generous and talented young woman (and connoisseur of all things Shran) who beta reads all my work and offers gentle correction where needed and encouragement always.

To Walk Through Fire

The little boy ran through the tunnel in the ice. His sparkling brown eyes kept a careful watch on the ice borer that stayed just a short distance ahead of him and just out of his reach. He was fascinated by these creatures and was determined to catch one, although his parents had warned him repeatedly that they were dangerous and not at all a suitable pet. But then, his parents thought that anything fun or even the least bit interesting was dangerous, not suitable, not a toy and not allowed.

He probably wouldn't have even noticed the ice borer if his brother, Tren, had been watching him and playing with him as their parents had instructed. He idolized his big brother, wanted to be just like him and craved his attention and love. They had been having fun skating on the big pond in the park until some of Tren's friends came by and asked him to join them in a game similar to what humans called ice hockey, though with a lot fewer penalties. Tren was a strong, fast skater who was as much in demand as an "enforcer" as he was for the position he played. He immediately agreed and only laughed when his little brother begged to be allowed to play too. "You're too small! You'll get hurt, and then I'll get in trouble. You can watch, or you can go skate over there where I can see you. Now don't go running off!" Having delivered his warning, he got involved in the game and soon seemed to have forgotten all about his younger brother who disconsolately watched the game for awhile and then skated alone in the designated area until he saw the ice borer and gave chase.

He had decided that he would show them all. His parents would have to notice him, and might even be proud of him, when he caught and tamed an ice borer so it was a good pet. He was proud of his mom and dad, but they were always so busy with their important jobs and going to see the Chancellor, and even the Emperor, that they seemed to notice him only when he did something wrong. As for Tren's friends who were always making fun of him and never wanting him around, they would be so jealous of him and his pet, but he wouldn't let them play with it, and maybe not even see it, no matter how much they asked. He was so engrossed in his fantasy and so fixated on the ice borer that he didn't notice how wet and soft the ice had become in the floor of the tunnel. He didn't even hear the loud crack as the ice gave way beneath him. All he knew was that suddenly he was falling into a big hole. He called for his brother. He called for help. He landed feet first in a nest of ice borers, and it felt like his legs were on fire. He frantically tried to brush them off and to get away, but that only made it worse. Now his hands were burned too, and every movement seemed to make him sink deeper into the roiling, steaming cauldron of water, ice and hot, wriggling, glowing worms. He could no longer form words, just scream until his voice was hoarse.

Tren's head snapped up, and much to the disgust of his team, he lost control of the puck when he heard a sound he couldn't quite place. He heard it again, and his antennae told him that it was coming from the ice cave. He was pretty sure he had never heard a sound like that before, but something about it seemed familiar. He suddenly felt very afraid. He quickly scanned the pond and the area around it but didn't see his little brother's bright blue coat anywhere. He heard the sound a third time. Oh, Gods! He just knew something awful had happened to his little brother. Oblivious of what his friends were saying to him or whether they were following him or not, he stumbled off the pond and down the path toward the ice cave. He heard the sound yet again, but not so loud this time. As he entered the ice cave, he noticed an unusual number of new ice borer trails. He was truly terrified now because he knew his little brother was crazy about those creatures and he could guess what had happened. "Thy'lek!" He called as loud as he could, "Thy'lek, where are you?"

Tren followed the main tunnel in the ice cave because that was the direction the ice borers were coming from. The friends who had followed him tried to dissuade him from going further, told him that it was getting too dangerous, told him that Security had been summoned and would know what to do, but he ignored them. Didn't they understand that he had to be the one to find his defenseless little brother? Didn't they understand that it was all his fault that this horrible thing had happened to him? He hadn't heard any screams in awhile, and whether that was good or bad he didn't know, but his antennae were picking up small, soft sounds of crying and moaning from just ahead. He concentrated as hard as he could. "_Hang in there, Thy'lek. I'm almost there. It'll be OK."_ He didn't sense anything back from his brother.

By the time Tren reached his brother, the ice borers had all fled their nest. Little Thy'lek was curled up at the bottom of the hole. His face was deathly pale, almost white like the mythical Aenar in the horror stories. His eyes were glazed and he didn't seem to recognize Tren or even to realize that his big brother was there. He was moaning softly, shivering uncontrollably and his small antennae were tightly curled close to his head. His boots and snow pants were charred to well above his knees, and the sleeves of his bright blue coat were charred to the elbows. Tren picked him up as gently as he could, but his little brother's hoarse scream was like an _ushaan-tor_ through his heart. He tried to get Thy'lek to hold on to him around his neck so he could climb out of the hole, but Thy'lek didn't have the strength. As Thy'lek's small hand slid down his brother's coat, it left behind what looked like a thin, pale blue glove. It wasn't until much later that Tren realized that Thy'lek's gloves were bright blue like his coat and that what he thought had been a glove was actually the skin off his little brother's hand. The other thing he remembered until the day he died was the smell. It was the same as the time when his sister had burned the steaks they were to have for dinner. After his little brother's horrible accident, he could never bring himself to eat that cut of meat again, not even when it was part of the celebratory dinner on Graduation Day at the Imperial Military Academy.

When Security arrived with the medics, it was now Tren who was crying and trembling. He didn't want to let go of his brother. He was afraid he would never see him alive again. The Security officer had no patience for this and said, "Look, son, I don't have time to argue with you about this," as he tried to pry Thy'lek out of Tren's arms. One of the medics was gentler and more successful. "I have a little brother about his age. His name is Telev. I promise to take care of Thy'lek just as well as I would take care of him," she said softly as she held out her arms. Tren decided to trust her but burst into tears again as his little brother was whisked away. He wasn't allowed to come along. There wasn't enough room, and the medics were going to be extremely busy in the 15 minutes it would take to fly to the docking port of the Empress Ti'ara Medical Center, the only hospital in the province that had a pediatric burn unit.

TBC


	2. Cold Fear

When Thy'lek woke up in the hospital, it was to confusion, fear and pain. He guessed he was in a hospital. He'd been in Emergency in the city hospital at home a few times but knew he wasn't there now. He didn't know where he was. What was worse was that he didn't know where his family was. He couldn't even sense them. He tried to sit up to get a better look around but discovered that a force field around the bed prevented him from moving much. It was then that he noticed that his forearms and hands were heavily bandaged. He couldn't see his legs. They were in some kind of box, that is, if they were still there at all. He tried to move them but couldn't. His panic grew. There were bags of blood and what looked like water with thin tubing leading to areas of his body over the chambers of his heart. He had never experienced this before, but he hated hyposprays and decided that the embedded needles were even worse. Now he was afraid to move. What if one came out? How would they put it back in (although he was sure he wouldn't like it)? If it came out, would it tear his heart out too? He began to cry, but nobody seemed to care. He called for his mom and dad, and even his brother Tren, but they didn't answer. Finally, a woman he knew was a nurse because of the hat she wore, told him he was being a bad boy and needed to be quiet. Still sobbing, but quietly because he didn't know what they would do to a bad boy, he thought over and over, "_Mom! Dad! Please don't be mad. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be bad. I won't do it again. I'll be good. Please don't yell at Tren. It's not his fault. Please come get me. Please take me home. It hurts so bad! I'm so scared!"_ But no one came, and he couldn't sense them.

The next weeks were a waking nightmare for the little Andorian. All the dead and dying tissue in his burns had to be removed before the doctors could begin to use the instruments that would regenerate blood vessels, nerves, muscle, bone and skin. Day after day, often more than once a day, doctors came to work on one part of his body or another or to change the bandages. They never said who they were. They almost never said what they were going to do or why, even though, at first, he always asked. When he asked if it was going to hurt, the few who bothered to answer him always lied. Soon, he didn't ask anymore. There was no point. Worst of all, they never respected him enough to ask him if they could look at him (he wasn't wearing any clothes), touch him or do whatever it was they were going to do to him with all those cold, hard, sharp, glittering instruments.

He hated having lost control over his own body. He didn't know until years later that he had been in a teaching hospital affiliated with the Imperial Academy of Medicine. When the groups of interns, residents or fellows came around and looked at him, poked him and prodded him while the attending physician talked about him like he wasn't even there and used big words he didn't understand, he felt like he was an animal in the zoo. He had always loved going to the zoo, especially the parts were he could pet or feed the animals, but now he knew he would never willingly go back. He had thought that the animals were having as much fun as he was, but now he knew better. He knew that they probably really wanted to escape just as much as he did, but there was no way to escape. It hadn't taken long for him to learn that resistance was futile. At first, when he realized that just about anything they were going to do to him was going to hurt, he had tried to fight to keep them from doing it or to make them stop, but he was too small and too weak. Big adult hands grabbed him and pinned him to the treatment table or his bed so that he couldn't wiggle even a little bit to try to get comfortable. No matter how he screamed, cried, begged or pleaded, they wouldn't stop or let go of him until they were done, and then they warned him that he was being a bad boy and that it would all be so much easier if he just cooperated. Did they really not understand how much it hurt and how scared he was or did they just not care? He promised himself that if he ever did get well and got out of there, then he would never, ever allow people to treat him that way again. He would never let himself become so weak and defenseless ever again.

He came to hate his own body, and not just because he was small and weak. Because he'd lost so much skin and was so small, they'd mostly had to use grafts of synthetic skin to cover his wounds. The dermal regenerators would only help the grafts to take and to hide the many scars. For some reason, even as an adult he didn't understand why, the synthetic skin had been white like an Aenar's and only gradually became blue as the graft took. For over a year, the skin on his arms and legs would be a patchwork of shades from white to his normal cerulean blue. He thought he looked like some sort of monster made out of spare parts. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had to apply a thick, pink lotion that would smell like peppermint to humans and that moisturized the skin and helped keep it supple until it fully healed. Once he was out and about and back in school, the other children, being cruel in a way that only children can be, delighted in calling him "pinkskin." It became the worst "bad name" he could think of. But that would be in the future. For now, whenever he was left alone or at night before he fell asleep, he would stare at the ceiling and concentrate as hard as he could, "_Mom? Dad? Tren? Are you there? Can you hear me? Please help me. It hurts so bad! I'm so scared and lonely! I promise to be good. You can ground me forever, but please just come and get me and take me home."_ But still no one came, and he still couldn't sense them.

Little Thy'lek eventually came to believe that his family had abandoned him. The nasty story his big sister loved to tell him must have been true after all. She had always said that mom and dad had bought him at the baby store in the hospital and would take him back and trade him in for somebody better if he didn't behave. He knew this could be done because he had come along once when his dad had returned a broken music player to a store and had gotten a new one. Why wouldn't dad do the same with him? Not only had he misbehaved, he was also clearly broken. One look at his mottled skin and all the splints on his arms and legs so the bones would grow back straight and the muscles wouldn't contract into weird positions was proof of that. He didn't believe he could ever be fixed well enough to grow up to be big and strong like Tren. Why wouldn't mom and dad trade him in for a little boy who could? Why wouldn't they want to get a good boy they could be proud of?


	3. Ally

He stared at the ceiling and counted the tiles for the umpteenth time. There was nothing else to do. He heard someone enter his room and stop to use the hand sanitizer by the sink. It had a smell he would always associate with doctors, pain and fear, even after he became an adult. He was singularly disinterested in whoever this person might be or what they might want. He just wanted them to do whatever it was they had come to do and get it over with so they would go away and leave him alone. Even when the person approached his bed, he studiously kept his eyes on the ceiling and avoided acknowledging their presence.

"Hello, Thy'lek. So you are awake," a warm, pleasant, female voice said. "My name is Talla. I'm the rehab therapist who will be taking care of you when they move you upstairs tomorrow. I thought I should come down and get to know you a little before then. Is that all right? If you're still sleepy, then I can come back later."

Thy'lek blinked in surprise. This was different. She had called him by name, told him her name and what she wanted (sort of anyway) and seemed to be giving him a choice. She even sounded friendly. He decided it wouldn't hurt to at least look at her. He slowly turned his head to do so. She was tall and thin like most Andorians but probably younger than most of his nurses. She had long hair piled at the back of her head that was kept from getting loose by a cap that looked like a giant, lacy, silver snowflake. Her coat wasn't silver-gray like the doctors wore, or white like the nurses wore or even bright red like the lab techs wore. Her coat was dark blue with a pattern of stars, ringed planets and spaceships on it. The big net bag she carried had what looked like toys in it. He was sure he saw a couple of balls and big rubber band-like things of various sizes in bright colors. He didn't see anything that looked like it would hurt him, but experience had taught him that those things could be easily hidden where he couldn't see them right away. He brought his eyes back for a second look at her face. She had a gentle smile and bright, green eyes that seemed to be smiling too. Tren would definitely think she was pretty and would probably want to play adult games with her (whatever those were).

"So, I have your attention after all," she said with some amusement, but the amusement quickly left her voice, though the warmth and kindness remained, as she surveyed her new patient. "My, but you have had a rough time, haven't you?" What Talla saw was a deeply depressed and painfully thin little boy. His large brown eyes had no spark of life in them whatsoever. His small antennae remained in a defensive posture tightly curled close to his head. She instinctively reached out her hand to ruffle and then stroke his thick silver-white hair but slowed the motion as she saw him flinch in fear. "It's all right, Thy'lek. We'll just talk for awhile. You probably wonder what rehab is, right?"

Thy'lek relaxed a little as Talla slowly and gently stroked his hair. She had surprised him again by not putting on a pair of the purple gloves from the box by the door. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had actually touched him with their bare hands, the last time he wasn't treated like something that had bad germs. And she had read his mind! He did want to know what rehab was. He listened carefully as she explained, "I'll help you do exercises and play games that will make your muscles stronger and help you to use you hands again so you can draw, color, print your name and feed yourself adult food like the big boy you are. No more baby food! You'll be able to stand up, walk and skate again, too." She thought she saw just a ghost of a smile on his face, and she noticed that his antennae were beginning to straighten. "Now, Thy'lek, I won't lie to you," she continued. "You'll have to work hard. Sometimes you won't want to because you'll be tired and it will hurt, but if you do, then you will get better. When you get better, you can go home. You want to do that, don't you? Aren't you tired of being here?"

She had expected his reaction to her admonition that some of the exercises would hurt. She saw his eyes widen and his antennae reflexively begin to curl again. She hadn't expected what he'd said next. "Mom and dad don't want me anymore! I have broken dishes in my legs, and I'll **never** get any taller. They've traded me for somebody else, somebody better, just like my sister said they would!" Anger and fear flashed in his eyes, and then he began to cry. She was stunned by the depth of the despair this little one had kept hidden and carried alone in his head for who knew how long. Her fingers moved to his antennae and gently began to caress them. In a child, this was comforting and calming, not at all erotic. She needed to understand where he had gotten these ideas.

"Broken dishes?" she said in confusion, and then she realized what he meant. "Thy'lek," she said slowly, "Did you hear the doctors say the growth **plates** in the bones of your legs had been hurt?" He nodded. "Listen to me," she said firmly. She didn't continue until he was looking her in the eye. "The growth plates aren't gone, they just don't work as well as they used to. You will get taller, just not as tall as your dad. Maybe more the size your big brother is now, but you won't stay little forever, I promise. And as for that story your sister told you, the story about trading you in, well that's just not true!"

"How do you know?" The anger flashed again.

Talla sighed sadly, "This is really embarrassing, Thy'lek. I know because I told the same lie to my little brother. That's what it is, Thy'lek, a lie. It's not true! I'm just lucky nothing ever happened to him so that he thought it was true." She paused and then continued, "Your mom and dad come when they can, usually at night when you're sleeping. They're busy with work, you know that, and the hospital is a long way from your house. They call and talk to the doctors and the nurses every day to learn how you are. They love you, and they want you to get well and come home."

He gave her a speculative look. He so badly wanted to believe her but wasn't sure he could trust her. "Why did you lie to your little brother? Why would you say something like that?"

Talla sighed deeply again, "I'd get mad at him because he'd play with my toys and break them. I was jealous of the time and attention mom and dad paid to him instead of to me and because he got away with stuff I didn't. Mostly, I guess, I did it because I was young and stupid and didn't know any better. I'm really ashamed of myself, Thy'lek. It wasn't a nice thing to do, especially because he trusted me."

"If mom and dad still love me and want me, then why can't I sense them?"

"I'm not sure, Thy'lek," she answered carefully. That wasn't quite true. She suspected that the pain and fear he had continuously broadcast through the family bond had been more than his parents and siblings could cope with, so they had minimized their presence within the bond to the point that he couldn't sense them at all, but she wasn't about to tell him so. He didn't need any more guilt. "You know, your house is far way and you've been really sick. Maybe you'll be able to sense them now that you're getting better." In the meantime, she would make sure his parents knew what was going on with their little boy.

"So, do you think you can work with me to get better?" Talla gave him a serious look.

"Maybe," he said in a tone that made it clear to her she was still on probation.

"Well, I was hoping for yes, but I'll take a definite maybe," she said with a smile. "Now, I need to find out how strong your muscles are before we start the exercises, so we'll do some tests. The answers I get today are called the baseline. We'll do these same tests every once in awhile and compare the new answers to the ones we get today. That's how I'll know how much you're getting better, and I can tell your mom and dad when they call. Where do you want to start? Arms or legs?"

"Arms, please."

"All right. Left or right?"

"Left, please." As far as he could tell, this extremity had been injured the least, so he thought it was a good place to start. He still didn't know what the tests would be like or how much they would hurt, but he thought she would tell him and maybe even tell him the truth. He watched her carefully remove the splint from his arm and take something out of the bag that looked like the handles on some tools dad had at home except that they were kept open by a big spring.

"Now, Thy'lek, I said we would do some tests, but they're not like tests in school. There is no right or wrong answer. You just do the best you can. As long as you do that, any answer is good. You can stop when it hurts. Do you understand?" He vigorously nodded his head. She put the device in his hand. "Try to pinch this closed as much as you can. Don't worry if you can't do it all the way. Your big brother probably couldn't either. You can pretend you're squishing somebody who hurt you if you want." She smiled at him and winked. Thy'lek actually smiled back. Oh yes, he could do that! He certainly could! He thought Talla might be trustworthy after all. He might even learn to really like her.

Talla found another way to gain Thy'lek's trust and cooperation. After she went off shift, and even on her days off, she would stop in his room and read him stories about the heroes of the Imperial Guard and their famous battles with the Orions and the Vulcans. Sometimes she brought big picture books so he could see what the Andorian destroyers, battle cruisers and huge dreadnought battleships looked like, not to mention the enemy's ships. The little boy was completely enthralled. She noted with satisfaction that his spirits seemed to improve immensely. He smiled much more often, and the light had returned to his big brown eyes.


	4. A Brother's Love

Thy'lek made great strides on the rehabilitation unit. He was willing to work very hard for Talla because she always respected him and told him the truth. He trusted her and wanted her to be proud of him. It also certainly helped that he saw his parents from time to time and could sense them again in the family bond. He was reassured that he was still loved and wanted and that he still had a family and a home to which he could return. To be honest, though, he was particularly pleased to learn that his sister was in big trouble for lying to him and scaring him half to death.

There came a time, however, when no matter how hard he worked, his improvement hit a plateau. He just couldn't seem to summon the strength or coordination to bring himself to a standing position from a seated one. Even when Talla helped him and put him between the parallel bars, he couldn't stand for very long at all, much less walk. The regenerated nerves in his legs protested with a burning pain and sometimes sent pains like electric shocks into his back, and standing up sometimes still made him feel dizzy. Talla had warned him from the beginning that there would be times when he would want to stay in bed and not work because he was too tired and in too much pain. One of those times was now. He just didn't have the motivation.

Talla knew she would have to do something soon before her little patient lost the gains he had fought so hard to achieve. She knew he missed his big brother Tren terribly, although he didn't mention it much anymore, so she approached their parents about letting their eldest son come visit their youngest. It took a bit more persuasion than she had expected, but it was finally agreed that Tren would come visit over the long weekend when school would be closed in celebration of the Emperor's birthday.

Little Thy'lek was overjoyed when Talla told him Tren would be coming to see him at the end of the week. Where she had lately had to coax and cajole him to work, she now had to restrain him from trying to do too much too fast. He wanted so badly to be able to stand up and even walk a little way so his brother would know he would soon be well and would be proud of him. Of course, he also wanted to show Tren the motorized wheelchair he had for getting around by himself. On one of his explorations off the floor in this chair, he had found the nursery with its big glass window so he could see all the babies. If he had time, he would show Tren where it was and explain that it was just so families and friends could come and see the babies the same way Tren had come to see him. He would make it clear, with his superior knowledge, that despite what their sister had said, it was not a display window where they could pick out one they wanted to buy. Mostly, though, he just wanted to play with his big brother in the main playroom that looked out on the docking port for the medical evacuation airships. If they were really lucky, one might come in.

The big day finally arrived. Thy'lek, in his motorized wheelchair, was racing down the hall on his way to the playroom. "Thy'lek, pull over! What did I tell you about speeding? You'll run over somebody, probably me," Talla scolded him gently.

"I'm sorry, Talla. I want to be ready for Tren. I want to find the good toys. Are you going to write me a ticket?" He tried to be contrite but couldn't suppress his excitement.

"Well, maybe not this time, but you do need to be careful. That chair is not a toy. People can get hurt, including you. Do you understand me, Thy'lek Shran?" She had knelt down so she was looking him straight in the eye. He nodded his head quickly. "I would like to hear you tell me what you understand, please," Talla said quietly. This was a serious safety issue and she wasn't going to let it go.

"My chair is not a toy. I'm not supposed to go fast. I could get hurt or hurt you." Talla inclined her head slightly. "Or somebody else," Thy'lek added quickly. "I promise I won't forget this time!" Talla saw the increased anxiety on Thy'lek's face and thought it perhaps equal measures of fear of displeasing her, fear that the good toys (and she knew exactly which ones he meant) would be gone and fear that Tren had come and left without waiting for him.

"Very good, Thy'lek. I'm proud of you, and I'll be even prouder if you really do remember this time." She saw him blush a deeper shade of blue in both pleasure and embarrassment. She reached out to ruffle his hair as she often did when she was pleased with him but caught herself just in time. He had spent a great deal of time carefully brushing his hair so he would look nice for his brother, and she, more than anyone else, knew how much energy that had taken. She checked her watch. "Tren won't be here for awhile yet. You have plenty of time to pick out your favorite toys. Why don't we go down to the playroom together?" It was one way to make sure he obeyed the speed limit.

Talla went into the nurses' station between the elevators and the playroom entrance. She had some therapy notes to dictate, but she wanted to keep an eye on her little patient and meet his brother. She watched Thy'lek rummage through the shelves of toys until he found the big model of the Andorian battle cruiser and its smaller shuttlepod (exactly as she had expected). He carefully put the toys in his lap and turned his chair around so he faced the entrance and could watch for his brother. He saw Talla in the nurses' station and waved almost shyly.

Thy'lek saw his brother get off the elevator and immediately called to him. Talla looked up and saw a handsome, well-developed, young Andorian male of medium height of about 5'8" (173 cm) – most full-grown Andorian males are at least 6' (183 cm) or taller - with the same large brown eyes as his little brother. He was dressed in a black leather jacket and black leather pants with low black boots, the combat fatigues of the Imperial Guard and a popular fashion statement among Andorian teenage boys. He wore the security bracelet necessary to gain admittance to a pediatric unit on his left wrist.

"Tren! Tren! I'm over here. Come play with me. Look! I've got the best toys!" Talla saw that Thy'lek's small face was radiant when he caught sight of his brother and held up the prized toys. Tren stopped at the entrance to the playroom. His back was to the nurses' station so Talla couldn't see the look of horror on his face. His parents had tried to prepare him for what Thy'lek would look like, but their words hadn't done justice to the reality. The previously study and active child now had matchstick-thin arms and legs, and his legs were encased in heavy metal braces that looked to weigh more than he did. The skin on his extremities was a mishmash of shades of blue with occasional white patches and all covered with a thin, translucent layer of pink. A few thick scars remained, although most were pale white lines that would eventually fade. To Tren, the motorized pediatric wheelchair that was Thy'lek's pride and joy, was a horrible contraption that seemed to engulf and entrap his little brother. He saw that it exhausted Thy'lek to even hold the large toy battle cruiser out to him. He couldn't image Thy'lek ever walking, running or skating again. This was all his fault! If only he had resisted the temptation to join his friends in a game he knew would exclude his little brother. If only he had continued to watch him and play with him as he should have done. Thy'lek's face was so full of love. Didn't he understand what he had done to him, how he had ruined his life? Tren felt like the massive iceberg that had sank the ice cutter _Leviathan_ had landed on his chest. He could hardly breathe, and any minute now he was going to start crying, although big guys like him who wanted to be Imperial Guardsmen weren't supposed to cry. He had to get out of there! Without saying a word to his little brother, he turned on his heel and bolted for the elevator. He made it inside just as the door was closing.

Thy'lek didn't understand why his brother had stopped at the entrance to the playroom. He was so happy to see him that he didn't notice how distressed his big brother was. He had intended to give him the shuttlepod to play with, but since Tren seemed reluctant to come play, his child's mind reasoned that his big brother knew what he had planned and was holding out for the bigger toy. "Tren, come play with me. You can have the battle cruiser. I'll play with the shuttlepod. It's all right. It's a nice toy too!" He held the big toy out toward his brother but was stunned to see him turn away without a word and sprint toward the elevator. Thy'lek dropped the shuttlepod and used his stronger left arm to help push himself to a standing position. "Tren? Tren? What's the matter? What did I do?" He wanted to try to go after his brother, but it had taken him too long to stand up, and Tren had already disappeared into the elevator. He collapsed heavily into his chair. He slowly turned it around and moved to the window. He was still clutching the toy battle cruiser. For the longest time he watched the big snowflakes fall in front of the multicolored lights of the docking area. From the nurses' station, Talla could see the reflection of Thy'lek's face in the windowpane. She saw the silent tears coursing down his face. Eventually, he turned away from the window and carefully put the battle cruiser back on the shelf. He came out to the nurses' station and found Talla. Like most children, Thy'lek normally hated bedtime, but not tonight. "Talla, I'm tired. I want to go to bed. Will you help me, please?" Now she did gently ruffle his hair and stroke the little drooping antennae as they headed back to his room.

"_Thy'lek?"_ His eyes popped open. Had someone called his name? His door was ajar as it always was at night, and the low light from the hall allowed him to survey his room. No one was there, and no one was in the hall either. He didn't think he'd dreamed it because he didn't think he'd been asleep yet, but he wasn't sure. _"Thy'lek, are you awake?"_ The voice sounded sort of like Tren's, but Tren was gone, and Tren was big and brave and never cried. The voice sounded little and scared and like it had been crying.

"_Tren, is that you? Are you all right? Why did you leave? What did I do?"_

"_Thy'lek, I'm so sorry! You didn't do anything, little brother. It's what I did to you. It's all my fault! All the pain and all the really bad, scary stuff that's happened to you – it's all my fault! If I had watched you and played with you like mom and dad told me to instead of playing that stupid game with my stupid so-called friends, then none of this would have happened. You'd be at home, and we'd be skating and having snowball fights and building a snow fort and harassing our sisters when mom and dad weren't looking. I'm so sorry! I'm so ashamed!"_ It **was** Tren and he was crying, deep, choking sobs.

"_Stop it, Tren! You're scaring me! It's **not** all your fault. Mom and dad told me to stay away from the ice borers, but I didn't listen. Mom and dad told me to pay attention to you when you baby-sit me, but I didn't because I'm not a baby. I got you in big trouble. I'm sorry, Tren. I love you! I miss you!"_ Within the family bond, memory is as alive as reality. Within the bond, a healthy little boy stood on his own strong legs and reached out to his big brother with two strong arms like he always did whenever he'd had a nightmare and needed comfort. Like always, his big brother picked him up, gently rubbed his back and gave him a quick kiss on the top of his head. The little boy's two strong arms wrapped themselves around his big brother's neck and his two strong legs wrapped themselves around his big brother's body as far as they could go. The little boy nuzzled his face into his big brother's chest and savored the lingering scent of the leather jacket he loved to wear, the warmth of his body and the strong, steady beat of his heart. The little boy was content. The little boy felt safe.

Being a little boy, however, he eventually couldn't resist tickling his big brother's neck and under his chin with his antennae.

"_Stop it, Bug! I mean it!"_ The big brother was laughing so hard, though, that it was almost impossible to take him seriously.

"_I'm not a bug! I'm an Andorian!"_ The little boy said this with mock indignation. It was an old joke between them. His big brother stopped rubbing his back and brought that hand around to his front where he began to tickle the little boy's tummy and ribs. The little boy squirmed and squealed with delight, but his little antennae didn't stop tickling his big brother.

"_Fine, you win! I surrender!"_ That always happened, too.

"_Tren, promise you'll never leave me again. I get scared when you're not around."_ The little boy was serious now.

"_All right, Thy'lek. I promise."_

"_No, I mean **really** promise. Promise three times."_

Now the big brother was equally serious. _"Thy'lek, I promise I will never, ever leave you again. One. Two. Three."_ As he said each number, the big brother's index finger made the sign of an "X" over a chamber of the little boy's heart. _"Now, it's time for you to go to sleep."_ Within the bond, the big brother got into bed and settled the little boy down next to him, but the little boy wiggled just enough to put his head over the main chamber of his big brother's heart. The big brother reached down to pull up the light silk blanket and left his arm around the little boy. "_Good night, Thy'lek."_

"_Good night, Tren."_ Alone in his hospital bed, little Thy'lek was deeply and peacefully asleep at last.


	5. The Guard in Reserve

Thy'lek had one final hurdle to overcome before he could be discharged home. With his big brother's help and support, both in person and through their family bond, he had finally mastered standing and taking a few steps, but he needed to be able to walk longer distances. Once again, the task was proving difficult.

"Thy'lek, there's someone here I think you'd like to meet. I know he'd like to meet you." Thy'lek looked up in surprise. He wasn't expecting anyone. His mom, dad and Tren had come to see him last week. His eyes widened when he saw the person standing next to Talla in the doorway to his room. "Thy'lek, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine. This is Lieutenant Tel'kien of the Imperial Guard. Lieutenant, this is Thy'lek Shran, my best patient."

"An honor to meet you, sir," Thy'lek said gravely as he offered his small hand to the imposing Guard's officer. His palm was up and open to signify submission and that he bore no malice or weapon. This was the way his father had taught him was appropriate for a young gentleman to behave. Tel'kien had to be the tallest Andorian Thy'lek had ever seen. To out-worlders, his tall, slender frame would appear willowy or even fragile, but Thy'lek could tell that this man was powerfully built and very strong. He also had dark, piercing, intelligent eyes. Thy'lek wouldn't dream of telling him anything other than the straight truth, and he instinctively knew he needed to remain on his best behavior in his presence.

"It is a pleasure and an honor to make your acquaintance at last, Mr. Shran. Mistress Talla speaks quite highly of you." Tel'kien noted with approval the child's polite behavior and smiled to himself at the deep blue blush his compliment and Talla's had elicited. The child was a credit to his parents. He gently but firmly clasped Thy'lek's forearm, his hand being offered palm down and open to signify his social dominance, but that he, too, bore no malice or weapon. He was careful to show no adverse reaction to the thin arm covered with multihued skin and a thin, pink layer of protective glaze. He felt the slight pressure of the child's hand on his forearm through the heavy royal blue silk of the sleeve of his service uniform and then broke the ritual greeting. The position was an awkward and taxing one for the small, wounded child to maintain.

"I am told that you have been given an important mission, Mr. Shran. If it is not 'top secret', may one ask what it is?"

"Once I can walk from one end of the long hall to the other, I can go home."

Tel'kien estimated the distance to be about 300 feet (120 meters). "A difficult task," he acknowledged. "I would be honored to serve as your reserve. Do you think you are ready to move out?"

In response to Thy'lek's puzzled look, Talla explained in a stage whisper, "You use the buddy system for field trips at school don't you, Thy'lek?" He nodded. "Well, 'reserve' is kind of the Guard's buddy system."

Thy'lek favored Tel'kien with a wide smile but blushed again when he said, "Yes, I would like you to be my 'reserve', thank you. I'm ready." He expertly maneuvered his powered wheelchair out of his room and to the end of the long hall. He made sure to match his speed to the leisurely stroll that Talla and Tel'kien seemed to be taking even though he was anxious to get on with his task. He then rose slowly and carefully from his chair. With Talla and Tel'kien beside him, he confidently started off on his long trek to the other end of the hall. He just **knew** he would make it this time. He had to! He didn't want to embarrass himself or Talla in the eyes of the elegant Guard's officer.

He covered the first quarter of the distance in good time, largely because he was running on adrenaline. Tel'kien knew this and gently advised him, "Mr. Shran, might I suggest that you slow down a bit? As I understand the mission, you are to get to the end of the hall in a reasonable time period. Setting a world speed record is **not** required. Making sure to use energy wisely so as to have enough to make that last push at the end is one of the first and hardest lesions a cadet must learn." Thy'lek nodded, but he didn't really slow down. He just couldn't.

By the time he was half way down the hall, though, the muscles in his legs were beginning to burn. This was where he usually stopped, but today he had to keep going. Once again, Tel'kien quietly offered him a suggestion. "Why don't you take a short rest, Mr. Shran? A few moments only. Guardsmen do this, even in combat, although it's usually in a hole or behind something for protection; however, I think it's safe enough here that you can do without cover, don't you?" Thy'lek managed a small smile. If Tel'kien only knew how frightening this place could be! This time, though, he willing followed his advice.

He felt better after the short break, but only for a few steps. The burning pain in his legs intensified and moved higher and higher until it was in his back. He knew he was still moving forward, but it seemed like the wall at the end of the hall was moving too. It didn't seem to be getting any closer. His eyes were burning as well. It was all he could do to keep from crying, but only babies cried. He couldn't let a brave Guardsman like Tel'kien know how tired and weak and scared he was.

He tried to take one more step, but suddenly found himself sprawled face down on the floor. He didn't know exactly how he'd gotten there, only that he had fallen. Had he tripped? Had his legs just given out? Was something even worse wrong? He felt Tel'kien's strong hands trying to pick him up and heard Talla telling him to relax and that he would be fine, but memories of being pinned down and hurt by the doctors exploded in his mind like fire in a backdraft. "No! Don't! I can do it!" He had somehow evaded Tel'kien's grasp and had worked his way up on his hands and knees. "I can do it myself! Let me! Please!"

Tel'kien looked questioningly at Talla who seemed stunned but gave him a small nod. He straightened and placed his arms, crossed at the wrists, behind his back in the "at ease" posture of the Guard. "My error, Mr. Shran, and my apologies. I await your command, " he said with quiet sincerity.

Thy'lek had indeed managed to struggle to his feet, and now, breathing heavily, he resumed his quest to reach the end of the hall. He was head down and mechanically placing one foot slowly in front of the other. He was crying with the pain of it, but he no longer cared who saw the hot, scalding tears that flowed down his face. Suddenly, something or someone was impeding his progress. He butted it with his head, pushed at it with his hands and tried to kick it with his foot, but it would not give way. "I can do it! Let me, please!"

"Mr. Shran." He heard Tel'kien's commanding voice beside him. "Look up. You made it. It's over."

Thy'lek looked up and was astonished to see, through a haze of tears, that what he thought had been a barrier keeping him from his goal was actually the goal itself, the wall at the far end of the hall. His small fist uncurled, and he reached out and gingerly touched the wall in wonder. He turned to Tel'kien with eyes wide and an exhausted but happy smile on his face. He slowly and carefully brought his right arm up diagonally across his chest so that his right hand was flat against his left shoulder in the salute of the Imperial Guard. "Cadet Shran reporting as ordered, sir."

Tel'kien laughed as he crisply returned the salute and exclaimed, "Well done, Cadet! Outstanding!" He then deftly caught Thy'lek as the child collapsed again in shear exhaustion. This time, Thy'lek didn't protest. It was nice to be safe in the Guardsman's sheltering arms. As he carried Thy'lek back to his room, Tel'kien gave the child two more pieces of advice: "No matter how tough a mission is, a good officer must never take his eyes from the prize, and when the going gets really rough, there is no shame in calling upon your reserve. That's why it's there." Tel'kien heard the child murmur, "Yes, sir," as he gently tucked him into bed, but he doubted that he had really heard what he'd said. Nonetheless, the child was extraordinary.

When Thy'lek woke up, he found pinned to his pillow the platinum, obsidian and sapphire unit badge of the Imperial Guard. His small fingers traced its design in wonder. It instantly became his most prized possession and had remained so throughout his life. Tel'kien's amazing gift, which he kept with him always in an inner pocket of his uniform jacket, had been one of only two items of personal significance that he had managed to save when his ship, the _Kumari_, had been destroyed. There had been no time, no way to battle through the flames engulfing the doomed vessel, to retrieve his own badge from the service uniform in his quarters.


End file.
